"Fathers can play a key role in helping their partners cope with postpartum depression," says Joan Stauffer, assistant co-ordinator of Calgary's Post Partum Support Service. "A woman is very vulnerable after having a baby and he is her main support," says Stauffer. "And men need support, too. Especially first-time fathers who don't know what to expect, who are trying to support their wives and cope with their own feelings."

Stauffer suggests many ways a father can help his partner:

• Encourage her to talk about her feelings and show that he understands or is trying to understand.
• Set visitation limits by telling friends 'no' when she doesn't feel like company.
• If friends or family offer help -- such as volunteering to clean house - accept.
• When friends offer to babysit, say 'yes'. Parents need time away from a baby.
• Tell her he loves her, don't assume she knows it. Many women feel unsexy and unlovable and need to know their partners aren't going to leave them.
• Pick up the slack with chores.
• Be physically affectionate without asking for sex.

Stauffer adds that men also need to look after themselves. She says they should:

• Take time for themselves other than at work.
• Find someone to talk to.
• Continue to follow some of their own interests.
• Be aware of their own needs.

The Post Partum Support Service hopes eventually to offer a support group for couples. It now holds a father's night, where postpartum depression and ways of coping are discussed. Co-ordinator Honey Watts notes that when parents make taking care of themselves and their relationship a priority they have more energy to care for their child.